“Brush your teeth.”

“Brush your teeth.”

“Maintain one super weird thing. If she can love it, you’re set.”

“If you force yourself into a relationship, you’ll find yourself in a really bad one.”

“If you’re a single guy, and you’re not going to yoga classes, you’re really stupid.”

“Lie. And never admit that you’re lying. Go to any absurd lengths to cover your tracks.”

“These days, the dudes are constantly texting the girls. That’s not attractive.”

“I’ve loved a lot of people… and some of them loved me back.”